I am once again in a quandary. Since our trip to NY and VT, I have had a horrible time getting motivated to do any school work. It feels like torture. I am trying to figure out if I shouldn't be doing this, or if I should be doing this, but while doing it, take note and commit to not inflicting bullshit busy work on others.
Here are the the items on my to do list:
- Values timesheet... log what I am doing every minute of every day for a week, match each activity with one of 125 values listed, look for patterns and strive for balance. Then reflect and determine if I am spending enough time on what I value. DUH! I am a parent of two special ed kids, taking too many classes. What I value is napping, reading for pleasure, loving up my kids instead of riding them about homework.
- Take personality type inventory. It turns out I am an INFJ.
- Write a 2 page philosophy paper. OK, I have written about 100 of these in my career.
- Do another case study and cite theorists in APA style. I am horrible at that!
- Email my part of the strategic planning project. OK, this one is a really stupid assignment. I already did one like this when getting my alternative ed project. We pretend we have all we need and design a school.... Which might be useful if it required real, dig down deep information gathering and practical research based information. But, no, we just skim the surface and have no obstacles to work through. My kids could do this! It is just busy work.
- Study leadership theorists in prep for the final exam/case scenario.
- Turn in a final 250 word philosophy paper for another class.
- Write a two page paper expressing my beliefs about school choice.
- Complete my budget planning project.... tailored to building principals, not special ed personnel.
- Write a collective bargaining paper based on a neighboring school district's contract.
- Schedule social thinking therapy for Superman
- Find a therapist for Movie Man who seems to be in some sort of pre-adolescence, significant LD awareness, need to control something in my life phase.
- research and order diapers and diaper covers for grandchild
- Figure out math tutoring for Movie Man
I am getting sick, so have no energy and, really, when you look at the list above, none of what I am being asked to do has any relevance to what is important in school leadership. It is very disheartening.
So, I get this interesting message from a neighboring university. They need student teacher supervisors next semester! I so badly want to do this! I so want this to turn into teaching a university class or two. If that came to be, I would drop this administrative licensure crap instantly and find a doctoral program and work on my true passions while doing university work part time.
As I watch for clue busses, one drove by last night while in a conversation with a dear friend and colleague. I will end today's entry with her direct quote.
"Liberty Rose, you are so not an administrator. You don't fit in with all the stupidity that goes on. You have strong opposing opinions and you will be fired within your first year! What are you thinking? You need to teach teachers in training!"
I supervised three student teachers, all good people. I no longer do this because, well, my own motivation is wavering. I'm not the best role model for a new teacher.
ReplyDeleteAs for counselors, email or call me: I'll give you the name of Amigo's counselor.
I have worked for a lot of administrators over the years. Some have been narrow minded, many have been rigid, more than a few have used the public school system for their own gratification at the expense of the students, staff and community they served. A scant few (including the one I work for now) work to improve the lives of student, and make the world a better place.
ReplyDeleteMake a decision that you can live with, but I expect that if you stick it out you will join the ranks of the last category. I therefore hope that you do.
I think you should get the heck out of that program ASAP and pursue what is in your heart!
ReplyDelete