Sunday, November 15, 2009

Big Brother Won

I hope I can get through this entry without xanax or a breakdown.  The last 24 hours have been absolutely grueling and I think I am still in a bit of shock.
While I was sitting in Sister's Values class yesterday, I received an email on my home email address.  At break I referred to my iPhone to check for messages and any new emails.
This is what I found from a higher level administrator in my district.

           Recently I was forwarded an email that you sent to some individuals who are probably involved with a course you are taking.  The communication referenced a national study of the mistreated teacher.  You obviously can send whatever you want from your personal email accounts.  However, it is disappointing when an individual uses sabbatical time granted by our Board of Education to communicate the following statements to others - "I can count myself as a teacher who has suffered through some abuse at the hands of administration from time to time"
To sate that you have suffered abuse by administration is a very disturbing accusation.
Please do not contact me regarding your statement because there is nothing to discuss.

Read that again.  

What this higher level administrator is referring to is a post I made on a 'confidential' message board set up by one of my professors.  As a student in this class I am required to post my thoughts, observations as well as encouraged to submit any interesting articles I bump into and open those for discussion. So, being the ever compliant student, I posted the following regarding a national study of mistreated teachers.

As we find our way into leadership positions, I think this survey can
help us keep another's perspective in mind.  Our actions may not
always be perceived as intended.  Although I find this group to be a
bit rabid and fatalistic, there are some truths in what they
represent.  I can count myself as a teacher who has suffered through
some abuse at the hands of administration from time to time.
I am interested to see what others think.

The following is what ran through my head (stampede-like) all night long.
  • What jerk classmate is serving as mole and breaking confidentiality by sending my employer this out of context email?
  • What did I state that was incriminating specifically to my district?  I have taught in 6 districts for 18 years, and in my current district only a handful of years.
  • Was I not clear that the purpose of the post was to help us all be more mindful leaders so that we are not misinterpreted as abusive?
  • Who does this 'leader' think he/she is by emailing me, intimidating me, bullying me, ABUSING me while I am on an UNPAID leave (not a sabbatical as he stated)?  They just did exactly what the whole survey was about!
  • I did not email anyone, as he/she states... this was a message board posting.
  • What in the world is this person hiding, feeling guilty about, or feeling threatened by in my statements?
  • Who is this person to tell me they are disappointed in how I use my time while on leave?
  • What kind of leadership blames the abused instead of inquiring about how they can help stop such behavior or at the minimum, ask if this happened during my tenure within this district? 
  • Let's be honest, to direct someone not to respond is abusive and ignores the whole principle of due process.
At this point I am withdrawing from the program and asking for a refund as I feel that my ability to earn an income in my district has been severely jeopardized.  I certainly have no hope of ever using this license in my current district and to be honest, feel unsafe in all of my classes and cannot possibly fully participate as there is someone there clearly not honoring confidentiality.

I have emailed the professor who is responsible for the message board to make him/her aware of this significant breach of confidentiality.  No response yet.

I have no desire to join administration. I no longer have any delusions about my ability to change anything in education.  

On a personal note, I feel so very hurt that someone hates me so much they feel compelled to put me in harm's way. This person will make a great administrator.  They are already on the Dark Side.

You will find my name on the school board election ballot next term.


  1. wow!! I have no idea what to say, but I totally agree with all of the thoughts that you listed and can't imagine how you must feel! That is absolutely unbelievable, the whole situation is astonishing!!
    Hugs and positive thoughts...

  2. So sad for so many reasons :( You are making a good decision for yourself for right now. At some point at some other place you need to reserve the option to be in a program that will meet your needs to change education. This program was a terrible fit for you. It took me almost 6 years to find my Masters program and it was worth the wait. I hope that you can find some peace. Your family needs you :) Hugs and chin up!! You are a great lady so don't forget that.

  3. I don't know who the "leader" is, but I reoommend you call Hank ASAP. Your record needs to be cleared.

  4. Oh my goodness. I cannot imagine what you must be going through emotionally and professionally right now. Such sick twisted irony has brought this situation right into your lap. I hope that you find peace in knowing that you did nothing wrong and will no longer be forced to involve yourself with such toxic individuals. Good luck in finding a program that suits you and getting elected to the board!


Although I am dangerously opinionated, I am a flexible thinker and welcome your thoughts.