Closure Is A Good Thing

I get up this morning at 5ish having slept about 15 minutes the whole night.


I did some laundry and some corresponding, dressed and headed over to school a bit before 8.


I have my ID badge that unlocks the main doors, no room key as principal said it would be open, remember?


Get to school, my badge lets me in.


Go upstairs, my door is locked and as I peer in, I note that it is so full furniture from another classroom I am not sure I will be able to get to my stuff.


Luckily there is major demolition/construction going on to install write boards so I ask one of those guys to let me in.


In I go.  I took very little.  I left so much stuff and realized this is probably how my aunt felt when she was facing terminal cancer.  She just detached form her belongings.


I only took my favorite workbooks to use as examples in my university methods course, my very-own-made-up-and-invented-by- little-old-me-mediation tools.  I was about done hefting all this crap in a laundry basket and a milk crate and wandered over to the big cabinet.


And.    Was.    Horrified.


Blatantly staring at me were three gigondo clear plastic bins filled with junkie toys. One bin labeled, 500 points.  One labeled 1,000 points.  One labeled 1,500 points.  And in each bin the size of the junk items grew in proportion to the number on the corresponding bin.


I actually yelled out, "Oh know!  What the fuck?"


I slammed the doors fast.


At this point may I encourage (insist) you all refer to Alfie Kohn's book, Punished By Rewards and then have a look at Daniel Pink's book, Drive.  


So on with the morning.  I sit at Aunt Sally.  I hang on to her.  I actually stroke her solid, smoothly worn beams.  I cry.  I finally cry.  I realize I am most sad about leaving Aunt Sally.  I apologized to her for not being used last year and that I would do all I could to get her back to kids.


I schlepp my stuff (just three loads) to the front door and hear my phone ring.  Not once, not twice, but three different times.


I load the car, check voice mail and hear the superintendent called and wants me to call him back.  You read that right, SUPERINTENDENT.  Oh brother.


I come home, have a nervous breakdown, talk to Hub and a sister to get my mojo going and return the call to THE SUPERINTENDENT.


Long story short, it was a pleasant call.  We exchanged a few jokes, he addressed all points in my letter to him, apologized (yes, APOLOGIZED) for not getting back to me about the November issue.  He told me he greatly appreciated my work, he even referenced Aunt Sally.  I told him I appreciate him taking the time to call and address my concerns, I wished him well and told him I would be ready and willing  to assist the district in any way.


OK, so it was damage control.


But I will take it.  Closure done professionally.  Too bad my principal couldn't do that.


Ooooh, gotta go, I see another door opening!

And The Door Has Hit Me In The Ass

So, it is now official.  I have submitted my written resignation to the school board and superintendent.  The Superintendent also got a two page letter outlining how I arrived at my decision to leave.  It outlined the unresolved issue from November as well as concerns I have about the special education department.  I was careful not to name names or use specific examples of stupidity.  I offered my assistance and let him know I was going to still be around as a parent of special needs kiddos in his district.  I informed him that while I was counseled to seek legal action regarding the November incident, I chose not to in hopes that bringing awareness about it there would be no further victims of this sort of harassment.


Yeah, I know.  Why waste my breath.


I guess I am treating him like I would my students.  Ever hopeful that once in a while what I have to say has of a bit of value and will stick.


But I did make good points that I felt were necessary to expose.  Not for revenge.  Not to be fixed.  But to be the voice of those unheard and uncared for.  One of the most important being two African American boys expelled from our district after they left my program... at the end of the year after I begged for reasonable help and was told to suck it up.  Yep, expelled because our district placed them in a resource program where they were certain to be unsuccessful.  So, isn't it our fault they failed?  Shouldn't other placements have been tried?  Shouldn't I have been consulted before this decision was made?  I knew these boys and although they were quite prickly, I deeply cared for them.  Shouldn't we all be doing everything we can to make sure they graduate from high school?


And my second point was about how our district keeps hiring special needs teachers for less than 1.0 FTE.  Really?  My kid has autism ALL day, not just .6 of the day.  Do any of you know any CD, EBD, AUT or LD kid that is only challenged by his/her disability a fraction of the day?  Oh, if only.  Geez, what I would pay to have Movie Man and Superman special needs for only .6 of the day.


I included a bit in my letter about the lack of vision, effective leadership and planning in the special ed department.  I had to.  You know I did.


But what was good about the letter is that it was not angry.  It was out of deep concern.


So, I mailed the letters at the post office to guarantee I would not dig the envelope out of my own mailbox and then sent it all to my principal electronically so she would get it a few hours ahead of Downtown Suits.  She called this AM.  I did not take the call.  I know I need to return that call, but just cannot right now. She is not going to care much at all about me leaving.  She will care that she has to find another EBD teacher this summer.


I am in a state of grievous shock right now.  Even so, I did the absolute right thing.  I will continue to advocate as I always have.  My audience has simply changed.


My blogging will continue as I have just gotten started. We have so much more to share, to explore and to bitch about, don't we?


I can only imagine what cleaning out my classroom will bring to the surface.


Thank goodness I have therapy scheduled today!