And One More For My Bag of Affirmations

OK, last night was lovely.  I had a great session with my therapist about my kids and then met a wonderful friend for  a long dinner over a bottle of wine and some fondue.  We talked about my decision to leave EBDland and try working with teachers in training.  I expressed I was feeling quite certain and the thought of running for the local school board is sooo sweet for so many vengeful reasons.


Today I get up and do all the things I do after sending Movie Man off to summer school.  There was very little drama today.  Thank. You. Universe!


I carry a cup of heavily creamed java to my bedroom, crawl back in bed and read a novel.  I won't lie.  I dozed.  Right after lunch it was off to Social Thinkers Group with Superman.  


And then I bumped into a fellow special education teacher over the bin of potatoes at the neighborhood grocery.  I love this woman.  She saved Superman this year.  A remarkable teacher.  Anyway, she shared with me that the very special education administrator that caused all my pain and suffering is being reassigned back to the very schools that they took her out of last year.


And that is when the always- there- but- dormant- for- the- day- stuff boiled up and over.  I mean from deep down under the extra three rolls of fat I am storing around my belly.  It stabs and claws its way up through my heart, spins around my brain, snags on emotions, and implants rage.  Angry hot rage that I cannot let go of without a xanax.  


What the fuck.  Sorry, but what the fuck?  I am experiencing such a huge disconnect.  Someone please help me out here.  


This woman is mean, worthless, has no real experience, no useful knowledge base and is hurtful.  She is also stupid.  Yet she sits in a nice office, pulls in a great salary, and goes through each and every day believing she is good at what she does.  Since she still has her job, any outsider would assume she has it because she is effective, knowledgeable, and real leadership material.


But she is not!  She is not.  She is not. 


And here is what scares me.  The remarkable teacher who saved Superman this year wants to leave her position at Superman's school to avoid being victimized again by the particular administrator.


This is wrong.  So very wrong.


I am outraged at the injustice of this.


I am really so tired of the world as it is.  I don't feel there is any hope.


...........but I have one more affirmation in my bag that leaving is the right thing to do.


And I just feel sick tonight.

It's the Same Sorry Story

I read a lot of teacher blogs.  


I love reading teacher blogs.  


I don't feel so alone when I read teacher blogs. 


Because the same pathetic sorry stuff is going on in every school district.  


Because the same innovative, smart thinking, kick ass teaching and problem solving is going on in classrooms.  


Because we all have the same complaint.


And that is (drum roll.....) Administration is the biggest problem we all rage against every day.  


I am really trying hard to figure out why that is so.  Do stupid, thoughtless, uncaring decisions really have to be made?  Where do they originate?  


Not school boards.  In general, they are uninformed and have no idea how to hold administrators accountable.  They actually believe everything administrators report to them at school board meetings.


Not communities.  Parents want what is best for their kids.  Some don't have any idea what they should expect from their district, some have unreasonable expectations, most have no idea how difficult a teacher's job is.  Tax payers don't want their taxes to go up so because of how district administrators present budget issues, they target teacher salaries instead of digging deeper.  How many community members know how many employees, other than teachers, it takes to run a district?  How many of them know that many of those positions are unrelated and unnecessary to student learning?


Why do so many administrators succumb to management by intimidation?  Why? 


It seems that administrative teams are full of people in great need of control and power.  Not all administrators suck.  I am related to a phenomenal administrator who keeps kids as her priority, who is fair, has high expectations for her teachers, is empathic,  and has innovative ideas on which she actually follows through.  Imagine.  I have actually worked with a few like her.  It makes all the difference.


We teachers spend an inordinate amount of time in the world of injustices.  We see many students suffering through any number of injustices (societal, familial).  We live with daily injustices (curricular mandates, budget cuts,  hostile work environments, lack of time to think and plan, poor administrative leadership) with mind boggling resiliency.  This wears us out.  It makes us less effective.


I cannot figure out why it has to be this way.  


It is really quite simple.  

• Let good teachers teach.  
• Get rid of poor teachers.  
• Give teachers more time, and less bullshit busy work.  
• Quit acting like we are a bunch of renegade, irreverent  and lazy stupes who need to be led through intimidation and bullying.  
• We do know what we are doing.  And guess what?  We want every single one of our kiddos to be effective learners.  
• You know what else?  You don't have to beat us up when kids don't learn.  We have already done a great job of that ourselves.  

I will continue my quest, dear readers.  I am determined to figure this out for us all.  


Until then, dear teachers, keep on doing the great work you do every minute of every day.  YOU are what keeps so many kids going in their worlds of injustices. 


 I am clapping  and woo-hooing now.  Can you hear it?