Voyeurism

Every day that passes, I am more grateful for working through enough stuff to quit EBDland and move on to teaching at the university level.


I loved EBDland, but it was killing me.  Literally.


So, the best part of this new gig?  Well, there are many.  But supervising student teachers allows me to enter all sorts of classrooms and watch how others are managing their caseloads and classrooms.  Kinda like driving around the hood slowly late at night, peeping in lit up windows to see how your neighbors are decorating the living room.


I have seen exceptional.  I have seen deplorable. And the good part....?  I don't have to do anything about it!!!!


It has been an incredible experience to then process with my student teachers.  It is invigorating to analyze, ponder, reflect, and problem solve.  It is amazing to watch the next generation of teachers come into their style, evolve, and collect the good, the bad and the ugly and sift through it all in their efforts to be really good teachers.  


Unfortunately one of my student teachers is in the worst possible situation.  In one room there are 6 teachers.  It is arranged very poorly, it is very unwelcoming, there are some real safety issues in there.  Ld teacher working in small pull out groups has to teach over the din of hour long meltdowns.  I mean full on screaming!  And the administrator said, "Well, that's just special ed."


Are you cussing kidding me?????  What kind of school leadership is that?  Sacrifice quality learning environment for the LD kiddos?  Really?  This same administrator hands out much less harsh consequences to special ed victims of special ed peer attacks than she does if a special ed kiddo attacks a reg ed student.  So, special ed kids don't deserve quality learning environments?  So, special ed kids don't need to feel safe?  So, special ed kids don't need protecting from other special ed kiddo bullying?


Oh yeah, I am furious.  Oh yeah, I can't let this one go.  Not sure how I will address it, but I will.  


So grateful I stopped the insanity of crossing over the the dark side.

Whew!

Sorry I have been out of it for so long.  That certainly was not my intention or preference.  


As mentioned before, Movie Man was having a most challenging transition to middle school and Superman was presenting a bit more aggression than usual and was expressing some new found emotions.  I have a real love-hate relationship with Superman evolving.  You gotta take the good with the bad and as he claws through another layer of Autism (which I love), he has so much to process and put in some sort of order. It usually is not a pretty transition (which I hate).


Now let's move on to my career change.  LOVING IT!  Love, love, love it.  What the hell was all my fuss about?  No, let's not go there.


I am having a blast teaching advanced methods to seniors ready to student teach next semester.  I was nervous for the first few weeks as I was not teaching as I noted some of my peers were.  They are way in the world of academia and research and I am.... well, I am not.  At first I felt really self conscious (although I have total autonomy), I was nervous that I wasn't brainy enough.  I took a long hard look at most of my fellow professors and thought about what they offered and where they came from, how much public school teaching they had done before becoming tenure track professors.  


And I concluded that what I have to offer is of incredible value.  18 years of real experience in the trenches.  with real kids, in real situations, with real teachers, with real parents, with real frustrations.  That knowledge base is irreplaceable. And the whole point of making this career change is to make a difference in the way special education teachers in training are trained, to offer up some real strategies and stories that will empower new teachers as they enter this incredible profession. 


OK, PLUS, I want to make sure that my own kiddos have a better chance of always landing in good special ed programs.  I am that controlling, yes, I am.


Anyway, I am having a blast doing it my way.  And the feedback from my students has been incredible.  They express gratitude every single day.  They are relieved.  They are hungry to better understand, to fill their bags of tricks with good stuff that works, to be given permission to cut loose, follow their instincts.


They are even beginning to embrace my goal for them to become independent thinkers, to question research based methods, to expose themselves to the vast amounts of great information and resources, and to throw out what they don't want to use and embrace trying new things and making it work for each and every one of their students.


I am also so adoring being a student teacher supervisor.  It is a great form of voyeurism, no?  I get to sit in a variety of classrooms in a variety of school districts and just sit and watch, and then I get to process it all with my very talented student teachers.  One placement is dreadful with a capital D.  It has been a blast to work through it with my student teacher, to empower her, to help her in ways her cooperating teacher is not.   I love watching the kiddos in each placement, learning how different districts offer different solutions for all sorts of issues and challenges every district faces.  


I think what I want to do with this blog is to chat with you all about what I am seeing and how we are all finding solutions.  I also hope that you all will comment as we go along and that you will let me know what you think is most important for teachers in training to understand before they student teach.


It's good.  Really good.

This Should Not Be A Problem

Readers, please take time to read the following post written by an exceptionally caring and talented teacher. Daisy's blog is Compost Happens and is listed as one of my favorites.  She is definitely not the only teacher faced with this problem.  It's complicated on so many levels.  If you have suggestions, please make them!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

These boys need books. Lots of books.

I love teaching reading. Reading is the heart of learning. A child who can read has access to so many worlds, so much fascinating information, so many opportunities, so much fun.

Every year my students span a wide range of reading levels. This year the range is wider than ever, and there are more struggling readers than ever, too. Seven children, all boys, who read at a first grade level.

Fourth graders. Nine- and ten-year-olds who read like the little kids -- when they read at all.

I can teach them, work with them every day. Sight words. Phonics. Structure. Basic punctuation and what it means. But in the meantime, they need to read on their own. And therein lies my challenge. I need to help them read, read a lot, and read often. To do that, I need to provide these boys books they can read and books they want to read. Something easy, outrageously easy, and yet something exciting and fun.

I have the structure planned: each of these kiddos will have his own box of books at all times. The box will contain books they can read, books at their level, books that they'll read when it's time for them to read on their own. A literacy coach once told me that after students independently read 25 books at their level, they move themselves to the next level. These boys need to read. I know, I've already said that. 25 books will sound impossible to them, so I won't say it out loud. But I will provide books, and they will read, and read, and read.

The only barrier is money. Oh, yeah, money. School budgets are already pared to the bone. To buy more books, first grade reading level but high-interest enough for a fourth grader, will take money. Stimulus funds? Spent well, but spent. Title I Reading funds? Put to good use, believe me. I'll be at a Title sponsored training tonight.

Grants? Help me out. There's a local grant group, but they don't buy books. Bless their heart, they think there are enough books on the shelves, and no one needs more. Shudder. Are there really people who think this way?

Now what? Readers, can you send me to a source for grant money for these kids? A source that will send the money, and soon, so I can buy books and get these guys reading now? Leave it in the comments or email me. Okaybyme at gmail dot com. Please. Let's give these boys a future. A reading future.

Movie Man Hits Middle School (Yes, another parent smack down)

I am afraid for Movie Man.
I am heartbroken for him.
I just don't know what to do.  I have most often advocated for him and intuitively believe much of what he is displaying behaviorally is systematic of other issues.  Hubs and I don't always agree on Movie Man's motivation or reasons for certain behaviors.  That causes some tension.
Well, Movie Man started middle school a few weeks ago and I wish I could report that all is calm in our house, that he is adjusted, happy, and learning.


But I can't.


He was sent to the principal for not stopping whatever he was doing after several warnings and cues from the teacher.  A very seasoned and tolerant teacher who gets it.


When Movie Man came through the front door after school, the very disjointed story of being sent to the principal spewed out of him before he made it to the living room.  


However it was unbearably frustrating because Movie Man is not very articulate when retelling a story.  It is hard for him.  Really, really hard.  So, his anxiety mounts as his father and I ask questions for clarity and our anxiety mounts as the questions go unanswered.  It's pretty ugly.


Thank goodness his LD teacher called within 30 minutes of the school day being over.  Hubs takes the call and LD teacher shares the story, shares some observations, shares he might be overmedicated, shares she did not know what else to do when Movie Man could not get unstuck and shut up.  Really.  What else could she do?  Changing the environment, the pace, any variable is best for getting someone unstuck.  She did the right thing by getting him out of the room.


So Hubs decides the best consequence is to write a letter of apology and try to get Movie Man to really figure out why he gets so stuck.  Great in theory and I supported this, but I knew Movie Man could not possibly articulate the why of it all. He truly was sorry.  But I don't think he really understands how disruptive his perseverations are.  He is not making the connection, the cause and effect of it all.


Anyway, Hubs sat with Movie Man and as patiently as possible tried to help Movie Man probe into the why of it, how to organize the letter of apology.  They got through it with Hubs scribing.  Movie Man was frustrated. He truly was clueless about the why.  He was even having trouble remembering the teacher warning him. Then Hubs gives the directive for Movie Man to rewrite the letter in his own handwriting and tweak it to make it even more Movie Man's voice.  


And that is when yet another battle of defiance broke out.  No TV until the letter is done.  Stalemate.  Hubs ups the ante by harping and nagging.  Movie Man digs in even more.  Hubs won't leave the room.  Movie Man won't move off the couch, pick up a pencil... nada.


I suggest Hubs just leave it. Walk away.  I say, "I trust Movie Man will do the honorable thing and get the letter rewritten."  I then say I am going upstairs to fold laundry and remind Movie Man not to turn on the TV.


As soon as Hubs and I both get our of Movie Man's space, the letter gets done.  Beautifully done.  
And even though that was a proud feel good moment that provided some parenting emotional relief, I still feel sick about what is ahead for my sweet Movie Man.


Is he only OCD and not AHD?  Is he also on the spectrum? Does he have a borderline personality?  


How the hell are we going to get him to adulthood?

A New Year, A New Role

I now have one 2 hour class session and one 2 hour student teacher meeting under my belt.


And I believe I am in love.


I believe I made the right choice.
I know I made the right choice.


I wasn't so sure while I was in syllabus writing hell.  And it was hell.  


The last few weeks have allowed me to make some great and noteworthy observations.  Although not new to these sorts of observations, I still found them worth pondering.


1.  When you are new to an organization, members of that organization make a lot of incorrect assumptions about what you know and who you know.


2.  When you are new to an organization and have questions, and feel some urgency about getting answers,  the peeps already familiar don't feel your same urgency and because they are really busy getting the school year under way they don't respond in a timely manner... if they respond at all.


3.  It's scary starting anew, but man, is it exhilarating!


4.  We are not doing a good job in teacher training programs.  The students are starved for relevant information, practical strategies.  Theory only takes you so far.


5.  After gathering information about student needs, I realize the original timeline and topics to be explored need adjusting.  I feel very strongly about giving my students what they need.  They know where they feel unprepared.  They know what they need to become effective teachers working with their preferred population.  Well, they sort of know.  How can they really know?


6. Training students to become independent thinkers and inquisitive learners when they are used to simply getting assignments done so they can  check them off the to-do list is going to be no easy task.


7.  I love having a captive audience!  My goodness, isn't it great to be able to finally tell it like it really is and hope to effect some change in practice, philosophy and beliefs?


I am looking so forward to a weekend full of planning.  


I have a renewed hope about what I can do on behalf of kids.  I was so afraid I would not feel this way once I left my direct service role.


Whew!  

New School Year Anxiety

On the home front, we have a very nervous Movie Man entering middle school.  So nervous, in fact, we took another trip to his pediatric psych.  Hopefully we have the right solutions and we will avoid what we have gone through for many years.


Anxiety is a brutal condition and it effects so many of our students.  It can look like conduct disorder, opposition, ADHD, under achiever.  When we treat it as anything but anxiety we make things worse for our students.  As teachers, we can destroy them and make taking learning risks impossible for them.


Superman keeps telling me he is a "home kid" meaning he would rather be at home than anywhere else.  In his pajamas.  I see his point.  He is worried about 5th grade.  He is already convinced it will be very hard.  And it will be.  As the kids get older there is more sit and get, more listening, more verbiage.  Kids with Autism don't learn as effectively as they could in this sort of environment.  And what that looks like is a kiddo who is below average and oppositional and maybe ADHD.   Sensory issues are exacerbated when they have to attend to verbiage for too long. Superman is also on the throes of a worry perseveration about weather.  And of course, stormy rains are expected for the next few days.  


So, to all the teachers out there... I know you all have butterflies just like your students.  Be mindful of what feelings behaviors are masking and that most often they are simply a way of coping.  


School has become less therapeutic, less child centered.  And it is not because teachers are less caring.  It is because all the suits in the world are misguided and since they have all the power, THEY are the reason so many kids are experiencing more and more stress in school.


I love teachers.  May you all have a wonderful start to this new school year.  Use compassion, have fun, and enjoy the kids parents turn over to your care.  

The Magic Lives!

Wowy zowy!!!


I am so excited to report that despite principal's lack of support, Aunt Sally will be used it the EBD room this year!  Art teacher approached new EBD teacher and asked if she was interested in pursuing the use of Aunt Sally or if she really wanted her removed.  She said she wanted to learn how to use her with the EBD kiddos!


Take that pissy principal!


Turns out the EBD teacher wants me to come over and help her get it going again!  Pissy Principal really tied EBD teacher's hands in directing her to use all the crap my replacement had used.  Turns out EBD Teacher has a degree in recreational therapy!  She gets it.  Yippee!  Aunt Sally is very happy.


So, Art Teacher and I went to get yet another loom yesterday and it was an amazing experience.  A wonderful 80 something couple were done with their loom.  They were amazing.  Very inspirational.  They are living the golden years in a beautiful rural setting in a minimalist, but very techno-savvy home.


So, we collected a beautiful loom (we named her Grandma Rosie after the lovely woman who gave her to us) from their house and delivered it to the middle school EBD room where my old students attend.  They are so excited to have the loom there so they can continue using weaving as a way to self-regulate.


So, take that Pissy Principal!


I will be helping middle school EBD teacher write her mini grant to get the supplies she needs to get it up and running.  Meanwhile I have Miss Mae in my living room as Art Teacher got a larger, more appropriate loom to use in the art room.  We have named that one Stella.  She comes from a basement in Chicago and is very happy to be used in a loving and helpful way in an elementary art program.


And you better believe my student teachers and Methods students will know all about this sort of magic.