Pray for Objectivity and Clarity of Thought

Hub and I just got back from Vermont and NY where we visited an incredible school for Superman and Movie Man.  One of the main perks was rubbing the pregnant belly of my first grandchild's mother.


 I am scared to death.  Hub and I are scared to death.


 For our boys.


We cannot continue to subject them to the education they are currently enduring. Both boys are problematic learners in their public school setting.  Although an IEP is a good thing (theoretically) it is only as good as the people implementing it.


And they are not very good.


So, we fly out of Happy Valley and land in Albany, NY all without a hitch. We drive to Saratoga Springs, NY and check it out in prep for our meeting with the Waldorf school the next morning.


AMAZING!  Wow, the very gracious and articulate hostess was the admissions lady.  We had time to personally meet with the 4th and 6th grade teachers.  We were never rushed.  They took time to genuinely communicate with us.  I was very impressed.  As was Hub.  As was Superman when he heard they are dismissed at 2:00 PM.  As was (well, sort of) Movie Man when he saw the way the kids are taught.  Why, oh, why can't all schools embrace at least some of this stuff?


Anyway, after 2 hours... yes, I said 2 HOURS, of unrushed, very informative quality time, we left ready to continue on with the application process.  They did not even flinch when they met our kids and heard about their IEPs.  Movie Man would be slow to adjust, but he would eventually take to it with gusto.


Superman was quite engaging with our admissions lady and even tried to explain being in the dark (autism) to her.  He got a little more autistic-like in observable behaviors at about the 90 minute mark, but he did pretty well.


Guess what?  Not one computer in the classrooms.  (Do not misread me here!  I believe in technology.  We are a family with 4 computers, many video gaming stations and Beatles Rock Band) But there were no computers beckoning to the teacher from his/her desk.  No learning time taken up by keyboarding class.


But more impressive than that is that the kids have AT LEAST 2 recesses a day!  Gee, recess?  Recess?  Isn't cramming more reading minutes in every day more important than unstructured play?  What on earth does play have to do with readin', writin' and 'rithmetic?


Art and music were evident at every turn of our tour.  They use cursive writing, they don't have text books, the teachers stay with the kids 1st - 8th grades!  You read that right.  1st - 8th grades!  Can you believe that any teacher would want to be with the same 15 kids for that many years?  Can you believe that any teacher would want to know the curriculum for that many grade levels?  I say that takes huge commitment and dedication.


Waldorf has been around for a long time.  Around the world.  Are they a bit extreme as far as technology avoidance?  Maybe by today's standards.  But are they accessing and exercising a part of the brain that could use a bit more attention?  Yep.  Do I think that would be best for my kids?  So far, I do.


But to relocate from the midwest to NY will take a huge amount of effort, googahs of cash and a few miracles, employment for both parents, a sold house, a new house secured... well, you get it.


So, do parents do this for their kids?  Is that reasonable?  Expected?  Advisable?


Hub is wearing his NY warm up jersey this afternoon.  I think he's there.

Rendered Speechless!

Anyone out there use PECS?  (picture exchange communication system)
It is a tool used to communicate with kids who struggle on various levels with communication.
Superman benefits from using very limited PECS symbols to remind him what is expected when the teacher is lecturing or when the assignment has multi steps.  Using PECS symbols lined up in order of directions helps him move along and stay focused and successful in reg ed.


Well, Superman's AUT teacher this year is lacking.  Very seriously lacking.  Not just because she doesn't get it.  I don't think she cares to get it.  She is teaching so she can coach. She is a poor writer, communicates minimally, and has no teaching skills.  


Anyway, last week I suggested she start using PECS to help keep Superman on task.  The following day I got her interpretation of my suggestions.
You will not believe this! (Actually, sadly, many of you will)


A full page titled "Math class with Ms. Jones"
She wrote step by step, word by word expectations and directives.  At first glance I wanted to throw it out.  It was busy, overwhelming visually.   


Ms. Jones certainly did not take time to review her finished document. She simply typed her directions into the PECS program, hit print, and moved on.  


Let me remind all of you that children with Autism are literal in their interpretations of the world. 


So, over the word assignment is a picture of an ass.  Yes, you read that right.  An ASS!  (the animal, not the bum)


Over the word date ( as in put the date on your paper) is a couple.  Yep, a male and female holding hands!


Over the word board (as in start the practice problem on the board), is a cutting board!  A cutting board!


Over the word open (as in open your notebook), is a hand removing a lid from a jar.  


First of all, Superman is very bright and can read at grade level.  Superman does not need these types of directions... he just needs periodic visual cues to keep him moving along.  He does not need to be told, "Open your notebook to an empty page" written in PECS.  


Anyway, I was so angry about this...  frustrated, hopeless, borderline outraged,  I took four days to process and hid all things that could be used as weapons  (knitting needles included).


Monday morning I attacked.  I copied the document, wrote all over it, attached notes of explanation and attached it to a formal letter to the principal and the special education coordinator (both of whom I have met with regarding my concerns) stating this was absolutely unacceptable and it is not my job as a parent to correct the teacher, patiently walk her through this stuff, or teach her what to do.  


I then hand delivered these to each of them.


Haven't heard a word from either of them but I noticed in the back of Superman's assignment notebook yesterday was 4 PECS pictures of what to do when you listen.  Also was met outside the building by Superman's reg ed teacher (who is a saint).  She tells me that she won't be communicating with me as much as she has in the past as Ms. Jones needs to be the person communicating with me more.  


HUH?


I am still not sure what to do with this.  She was clearly directed to do this as this is not her nature.  Is this really all the dark side could come up with for remediation?????  


Dear God.  We are in so much trouble.


Hub and I are fervently looking for good alternative schools.  


Anyone have any suggestions?


Sigh.

Quandary and Odd Juxtapositions

It's a dreary Sunday morning.  I am glad.  I need to think.  I need the world to stop.  A dark day feels like a blanket is over us which means there are no expectations to get outside and put the yard to bed for winter or take on any chores other than putting a slow simmer dinner on the stove and doing some laundry.


Good thing.  I have lots on my mind.  I spent a long day yesterday in a values class.


With Sister Donna.


With 11 other students in the leadership program, 4 of whom had their laptops up and running so they could keep track of various scores all day. 


Very rude, very disrespectful and very scary.  These are people who expect to become leaders in our public schools!  I was so pissed off it was hard to listen to Sister Donna.  She was very distracted by these clowns looking at their screens rather than her.  She asked me during a late break if I knew what they were doing.  She had a hunch they were keeping up with sports...but didn't want to accuse them of something they weren't doing.  Sister Donna is a very bright and dedicated woman.  I am not catholic, don't get the whole catholic gig, but I respect her.  She is quite accomplished.  She decided to instruct them to leave the laptops at home next time we meet.


If that was not distracting enough, I kept getting texts from Hub who was desperately researching alternative schools out east for Movie Man and Superman.  The gap is widening between them and their peers and it is glaringly clear we need to find alternative education options for them.   We had a disturbingly  frustrating meeting at their school regarding Superman's Autism teacher's lack of ability and motivation.  The leadership present basically said they couldn't do much because of the contract language and the union.  Bullshit!  They said they understood and were very aware of the issues and would proceed as best they could, but these things take time.


MY KIDS DON"T HAVE TIME!!!


Anyway, yesterday I kept getting texts and it all ended with airline tickets to Foodie's house where I can bond with my grandchild by rubbing his/her mother's belly, eat really well, and tour a few alternative schools.  Although Foodie is in Vermont, we will be checking out schools in Saratoga Springs, NY and thereabouts.


So I now sit in conflict with myself.  I have been a public education champion for my entire adult life.  I believe in it, am proud to live in a country that believed in it and supported it since early on, and have dedicated my career to it.  


But my kids aren't benefiting from it.  I realized late yesterday that I am really pissed off about it.  Really, really pissed off that public school can't be everything that every kid needs.   You would think by the age of 52 I would have already acknowledged and accepted this.  I am bitterly disappointed.


But worse than that, I think I may have hung in there too long pushing and pulling, resizing, and insisting on my kid's behalf that things be better, services more appropriate... and maybe that has done them more harm.   Maybe my hope and denial has ONCE AGAIN prohibited my kids from accessing an alternative that would have served them better.


But isn't public school supposed to work for all kids?  Isn't that the line?  We know so much about learning and what kids need, why can't we apply all that good stuff in our public schools?  Don't get me wrong.  There are some exceptional teachers who do these things (we are fortunate this year in that Superman's reg ed teacher is gifted, a true master teacher), but the systems in schools get in the way of doing some really good stuff that would help those fringe kids.  


And all the NCLB policy and emphasis on high stakes testing to make teachers accountable has tied creative teacher's hands even more.  When we take away recesses in primary schools so we can get a few more reading minutes in each day, we are totally ignoring what we know about child development and the importance of play and moving around.  I might mention here that this also increases the referrals to special education because the kiddos slower to develop their learning readiness start to look speical ed. They aren't special ed!  We just need to honor their developmental clocks.  Sometimes those kids look EBD as they act out in frustration to not being honored.


So I intend to sit and ponder today.  What does this mean for me and my career?  If my kids go to private alternative schools, can I still work in public schools?  I think I can, as my mission will remain the same.  All kids deserve a free and appropriate education that truly meets their needs as individuals.  Although I have to give up on public education for my own kids, I have to remain in the ring and fight it out for the kids whose parents can't relocate or shop around for a better fit.


Laundry and an empty pot await me.  Cincinnati Chili Mac for dinner, fresh laundry flopping in the dryer... that's about all I can handle today.